COLLEGE ESSAY EDIT

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What promoted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Christopher Pierret

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Throughout my entire upbringing, I spent most of my life admiring other people’s accolades. I believed that I could never succeed in life and have a fantastic story of success by overcoming difficulties. I liked to play basketball but always sat on the bench because of my height, since I was considerably shorter than my teammates. Despite this, I finally got the confidence to not care about my height. Self confidence stepped up and took over from somewhere deep inside of me and crushed the insecurities and I started to understand that everyone has self doubt, no matter who they are.

Throughout the early years of my life, my basketball and academic skills shone brightly. These were not areas where I was lacking.   However, I didn’t think any of those things mattered. I constantly compared  myself to the people who I believed were more successful than me leading to low morale  and poor self esteem.   Negative thoughts continuously crept into my mind causing a sense of defeat and despair to rise up inside of me. Until I started to ask myself, why would I compare myself to others in the first place? I came to the understanding that the only conclusion that—the person that I was years ago and the person that I am right now, are not the same person. I had overcome my  low self-esteem and my doubt I had in my own success in my future.

I always wanted to achieve my goals, but my crippling disbelief in myself caused many problems. I believed that I was not as good as my peers, that I was not as destined to do anything essential or anything with substance to the world. As I started to grow as a person, I realized that it is okay to feel rejected and that it is okay if I didn’t have faith in myself to succeed . That what mattered the most is that I tried. I have tried to challenge myself, I cared about basketball, and if I just gave up on basketball, I would have been a quitter. By working on reaching my goals, I showed that I am not someone who quickly gives up that I was willing to push myself.  If I didn’t try,  I probably couldn’t find courage in myself to actually try. There are times no matter how hard I try to push myself, I still fail. But when I kept trying and not giving up, it gave me more courage to work even harder and never to give up. In the end, to prove that my self-esteem is wrong and that I actually can do it shows me how I can do whatever I put my mind to.

I used to care a lot about what people used to believe about me. I thought that   saw me as an over-ambitious child who wouldn’t do anything meaningful and would remain in my low-income neighborhood. The reason why I questioned myself is that I believed that other people’s opinions allowed me to understand who I am, and I could see what my flaws are. That I have the option to choose what I can do on myself, and what I should be or should I not be. I should let myself decide how I want to spend my life and not listen to what people think about me and what they believe I should do. This self-discovery was life provoking and life-changing. I stopped comparing myself to other people and started to want to do what I wanted to do in life, not what people wanted me to do.

Everyone has something that they are naturally good at and love. That something is waiting for us to be found, even if you struggle at the start you can still manage to be someone who can actually be good at whatever you aspire you to do. We might not be good at everything, but as long as we make the best of ourselves and have faith, that is all you need to reach your dreams.

 

 

 

double space after period

 

You are using the word compare a lot – what else can you say instead.  What lines can be left out to bring down word count.

 

You are telling not showing. How can you show how you were feeling through the use of figurative language and literary devices?

 

You don’t want to say in this half that you felt it was ok to not have faith in yourself- maybe say you realized it is ok to sometimes fail as long as you tried your best.

 

What is another word you can use to not keep saying try?

 

Think about what you want the college admission officer to know about you as a person – what attributes of yours do you want them to understand.  How did you begin to have confidence and not be concerned about what others thought?

 

Grade 85

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