Final Essay

This is the feedback that my classmate gave me:

Hi, Jeison. I like your introduction. It helps me understand what your essay is going to be about. I did not know what an Electoral College was but as I read more you go into it more and Clearfield it was very helpful. And I also like how you put your own opinion, in the end, it stands out. I feel like body number one could have been a little bit longer, but overall, it was ok. I like how you always define the worlds in your essay for example when you said. “A key player in the electoral system is the Electoral College, which refers to a group of people mandated by the constitution as stipulated in Article II, Section 1, Clause 2 to elect the president and the vice president (BBC News).” For that was helpful. For Surname number 2 I like how you point out that small states with fewer people get fewer votes and a large state with more people has a better advent. That is true but what can we do about it? For Surname 3 when you start with the candidate of their choice during the election. That looks confusing to me like it is an incomplete thought I did not know what you were trying to say. There are some grammar errors, look back at it and fix it. For Surname 4 It seems short to me I would like to know more about it. I feel like you did good. It was very interesting that you chose this topic. I got to learn something new today so thank you. But I did not understand what Surname 2,3,4 mean. And what did you indent like it was a new body patch that threw me off but a great essay?

The other screenshots is the feedback from the teacher

The Electoral College file is the essay that you need to edit.

finally here is another thing that my teacher told me: You have a great deal of technical information here. Make sure that you include a bit of story and examples from real life to ground your information.

This article may interest you: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/12/minority-rule-cannot-last-america/617272/