I need help with revising a paper that I have already written below are the assessment details, Attached is the paper and evaluation along with the scoring guide
Your organization is undertaking a population health improvement initiative focused on one of the pervasive and chronic health concerns in the local community. Examples of health improvement initiatives include nationwide concerns, such as type 2 diabetes, HIV, obesity, and Zika. However, your organization has asked you to determine which widespread health concern should be addressed in a population health improvement plan for the community in which you practice and has entrusted you with gathering and evaluating the relevant data.
Note: The requirements outlined below correspond to the grading criteria in the scoring guide, so be sure to address each point. In addition, you may want to review the performance level descriptions for each criterion to see how your work will be assessed.
Evaluate community demographic, epidemiological, and environmental data.
Identify the relevant data.
Describe the major community health concerns suggested by the data.
Explain how environmental factors affect the health of community residents.
Health Improvement Plan
Develop an ethical health improvement plan that effectively addresses the population health concern that you identified in your evaluation of the relevant data.
Base your plan on the best available evidence from a minimum of 3–5 current scholarly or professional sources.
Apply correct APA formatting to all in-text citations and references.
Attach a reference list to your plan.
Ensure that your plan meets the cultural and environmental needs of your community and will likely lead to some improvement in the community’s health related to this concern.
Consider the environmental realities and challenges that exist in the community.
Address potential barriers or misunderstandings related to the various cultures prevalent in the community.
Justify the value and relevance of the evidence you used as the basis of your plan.
Explain why the evidence is valuable and relevant to the community health concern you are addressing.
Explain why each piece of evidence is appropriate and informs the goal of improving the health of the community.
Propose relevant and measurable criteria for evaluating the outcomes of your plan.
Explain why your proposed criteria are appropriate and useful measures of success.
Explain how you will communicate with colleagues and members of the community, in an ethical, culturally sensitive, and inclusive way, with regard to the development and implementation of your plan.
Develop a clear communications strategy mindful of the cultural and ethical expectations of colleagues and community members regarding data privacy.
Ensure that your strategy enables you to make complex medical terms and concepts understandable to members of the community, regardless of language, disabilities, or level of education.
Note: Faculty may use the Writing Feedback Tool when grading this assessment. The Writing Feedback Tool is designed to provide you with guidance and resources to develop your writing based on five core skills. You will find writing feedback in the Scoring Guide for the assessment, once your work has been evaluated.
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